Sucker Punch

As my first review, I thought I’d take the time to go all the way back to the “barely PG-13,” hit and-entirely-miss graphic novel adaption directed by Zack Snyder to entertain 14-year-old boys. Oh, and everyone else. Sucker Punch opens with an overly dramatic, overly stylized traumatic experience to introduce our protagonist that would pretty much characterize the rest of the film; lots of digital effects and…not much else. First thing’s first; this is not the worst movie ever made. But, it’s close. Stewed and stirred with every possible little boy’s dream; from dragons to robots, and bombs on trains that can’t be defused to Nazi zombies, Sucker Punch never quite gives you a reason to care about, well, anything. Most incredulously, we’re supposed to sympathize with and relate to these young women, to whom there is supposedly ‘much more than meets the eye’ yet the film continues to convey them as items for sale. In all truthfulness, the giant, robotic cars that we all can’t wait to see return this July have been much more sincere, and they’re not even human. Besides, a hefty Transformers sequel and the upcoming Fast Five are sure to provide more than enough exploitation of women and stylized, ridiculous fighting for one summer anyway. 14-year-old boys everywhere, rejoice. Meanwhile, Snyder does manage to make everything in Sucker Punch fun to look to at, but once again, his equally exaggerated movie trailers manage to be much more compelling than the films themselves. D+